Today I Will Nourish My Inner Martyr

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Today I Will Nourish My Inner Martyr : Desktop Affirmations for Cynics

Humor

Author - Sarah Wells, Ann Thornhill
Publisher - Clarkson Potter
Pages - 128
ISBN - 0307720039


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Detail - Take comfort in cynicism? Find pleasure in pessimism? Think the high road is unscenic at best? Then this desktop display of affirmations-gone-wrong will speak to the true you. Flip through various mantras that celebrate the impressive ways we distress ourselves, then display your particular paranoia, mood, or obsession of the day. Everyone who passes by your desk will consider themselves warned. Of course, these affirmations will give you new ways to pity and excuse yourself, but you might also learn to actually appreciate something: that your mind isn’t as unhealthy as it could be.

Today I Will Indulge My Inner Glutton : Health-Free Affirmations for Cynics

Humor

Author - Ann Thornhill, Sarah Wells
Publisher - Prima Lifestyles
Pages - 183
ISBN - 9780761521099


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Detail - For everyone who's had it up to here with today's health and fitness craze, the authors of Today I Will Nourish My Inner Martyr have collected 365 hilariously biting affirmations that celebrate the joys of not following the slimwaisted, sunken-cheeked pack flitting in and out of health clubs.

You Are Old : Sobering Affirmations for Your Rapidly Disappearing Life

Family & Relationships

Author - Oswald T. Pratt, Scott Dikkers
Publisher - Andrews McMeel Publishing
Pages - 128
ISBN - 1449418392


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Detail - From the "New York Times"-bestselling authors of "You Are Worthless "and "Just Give Up" comes an even less-inspiring book for those past their prime, with advice from a sad and seriously inept marriage and family counselor who is one of Dikkers' most hilarious creations.

You Are Worthless : Depressing Nuggets of Wisdom Sure to Ruin Your Day

Humor

Author - Scott Dikkers
Publisher - Andrews McMeel Publishing
Pages - 240
ISBN - 0740789414


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Detail - You Are Worthless is the self-help book from hell. This bracing blast of negativity takes aim at the impossibly cheerful "inspirational self-help" books flooding the market and hits the bullseye, with chapters such as "Your Good-for-Nothing Friends," "Your Miserable Job," and "Life: What's the Use". This hilarious parody collects hundreds of tidbits of painful reality such as "You're no good, you're not great-looking, and you're going to die someday and it's probably going to hurt." Who among us isn't sick to death of the gushy, new-agey inspirational books that blindly assert that everyone is worthy? We all know the truth, and this book is as refreshing as a slap to the face. Just some of the depressingly humorous nuggets of truth include: * You don't really have any outstanding qualities. It's safe to say you're pretty much just like everybody else. * The only reason your pet likes you is because you feed it. * As you get older, you are going to have less and less control over your bladder. * If you take a big risk and follow your dream, chances are you're going to fall flat on your face. You Are Worthless also features a section called "Hopeless Role Models from History," including Helen Keller ("I've had it"), and Abraham Lincoln ("The only thing I'm good at is losing").

Atchison Blue : A Search for Silence, a Spiritual Home, and a Living Faith

Religion

Author - Judith Valente
Publisher - Ave Maria Press
Pages - 224
ISBN - 1933495596


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Detail - In this meditative spiritual memoir, Judith Valente, celebrated PBS religion journalist and celebrated poet, invites readers along on her transformative pilgrimages to Mount St. Scholastica monastery in Atchison, Kansas. The Benedictine sisters who invited Valente presented her with a view of monastic life and wisdom that brought spiritual healing to her fast-paced life--and promises to do the same for her readers. The first time Judith Valente arrived at Mount St. Scholastica monastery, she came prepared to teach a course on poetry and the soul. Instead, she found herself the student, taking lessons from the Benedictine sisters in the healing nature of silence, how to cultivate habits of mindful living, and the freeing reality that conversion is a lifelong process. With the heart of a poet and the eye of a journalist, she tells how her many visits and interviews with the Benedictine sisters forced her to confront aspects of her own life that needed healing--a journey that will invite readers to healing of their own. A beautiful and heartfelt work that crosses The Cloister Walk with Tuesdays with Morrie, Atchison Blue will resonate with readers of Thomas Merton, Henri Nouwen, Mary Gordon, and Anne Lamott.

The Art of Talking to Yourself :

Self-realization

Author - Vironika Tugaleva
Publisher - Soulux Press
Pages -
ISBN - 099204684X


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Detail - "Overcoming the negative effects of self-help dogma on our personal journey, and using self-awareness to understand our patterns of mental self-talk, behaviour, and emotion."--

Heavenly Man : The remarkable true story of Chinese Christian Brother Yun

Religion

Author - Paul Hattaway
Publisher - Monarch Books
Pages - 352
ISBN - 0857210459


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Detail - This is the intensely dramatic story of how God took a young, half-starved boy from a poor village in Henan Province and used him mightily to preach the gospel, despite horrific opposition. Brother Yun is one of China's house church leaders, a man who despite his relative youth has suffered prolonged torture and imprisonment for his faith. Instead of focusing on the many miracles or experiences of suffering, however, Yun prefers to emphasise the character and beauty of Jesus. This astonishing book will form a watershed in your spiritual life.

Cinematherapy : The Girl's Guide to Movies for Every Mood

Performing Arts

Author - Nancy K. Peske, Beverly West
Publisher - Dell
Pages - 258
ISBN - 9780440508502


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Detail - A guide to movies that suit and soothe a woman's every possible mood

Toxic Parents :

Family & Relationships

Author - Susan Forward
Publisher - Random House
Pages - 320
ISBN - 1407057006


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Detail - Millions of lives are damaged by the legacy of parental abuse. Parents who ignored their children's needs or overburdened them with guilt. Parents who were alcoholic or addicted to drugs. Parents who were exploitative and cruel, or simply indifferent and inadequate. When these children reach adulthood the damage done by their toxic parents manifests itself in depression, or difficulties with relationships, careers and decision-making. This landmark book, by bestselling author and psychologist Dr Susan Forward, confronts this painful legacy and shows why it is so difficult to put the past behind you. She offers effective alternatives for achieving inner peace and for freeing yourself from the frustrating patterns of your relationships with your parents. Filled with vivid case histories and testimony from adult children of toxic parents, this remarkable book also offers the self-help techniques Dr Forward has developed to change the lives of her patients. With this book as your guide, you will discover an exciting new world of self-confidence, inner strength and emotional independence.

How to Read a Book :

Language Arts & Disciplines

Author - Mortimer J. Adler, Charles Van Doren
Publisher - Simon and Schuster
Pages - 426
ISBN - 9781439144831


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Detail - With half a million copies in print, How to Read a Book is the best and most successful guide to reading comprehension for the general reader, completely rewritten and updated with new material. Originally published in 1940, this book is a rare phenomenon, a living classic that introduces and elucidates the various levels of reading and how to achieve them—from elementary reading, through systematic skimming and inspectional reading, to speed reading. Readers will learn when and how to “judge a book by its cover,” and also how to X-ray it, read critically, and extract the author’s message from the text. Also included is instruction in the different techniques that work best for reading particular genres, such as practical books, imaginative literature, plays, poetry, history, science and mathematics, philosophy and social science works. Finally, the authors offer a recommended reading list and supply reading tests you can use measure your own progress in reading skills, comprehension, and speed.

Virgin Saints and Martyrs :

Author - Sabine Baring-Gould
Publisher - Library of Alexandria
Pages -
ISBN - 1465613552


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Detail - In the second century Lyons was the Rome of Gaul as it is now the second Paris of France. It was crowded with temples and public monuments. It was moreover the Athens of the West, a resort of scholars. Seated at the confluence of two great rivers, the Rhône and the Sâone, it was a centre of trade. It is a stately city now. It was more so in the second century when it did not bristle with the chimneys of factories pouring forth their volumes of black smoke, which the atmosphere, moist from the mountains, carries down so as to envelop everything in soot. In the great palace, now represented by the hospital, the imbecile Claudius and the madman Caligula were born. To the east andsouth far away stand Mont Blanc and the snowy range on the Dauphiné Alps. Lyons is a city that has at all times summed in it the finest as well as the worst characteristic of the Gallic people. The rabble of Lyons were ferocious in 177, and ferocious again in 1793; but at each epoch, during the Pagan terror and the Democratic terror, it produced heroes of faith and endurance. The Emperor Marcus Aurelius was a philosopher full of good intentions, and a sentimental lover of virtue. But he fondly conceived that virtue could only be found in philosophy, and that Christianity, which was a doctrine and not a speculation, must be wrong; and as its chief adherents belonged to the slave and needy classes, that therefore it was beneath his dignity to inquire into it. He was a stickler for the keeping up of old Roman institutions, and the maintenance of such rites as were sanctioned by antiquity; and because the Christians refused to give homage to the gods and to swear by the genius of the emperor, he ordered that they should be persecuted to the death. He had been a pretty, curly-haired boy, and a good-looking young man. He had kept himself respectable, and looked on himself with smug self-satisfaction accordingly. Had he stooped to inquire what were the tenets, and what the lives, of those whom he condemned to death, he would have shrunk with horror from the guilt of proclaiming a general persecution. In Lyons, as elsewhere, when his edict arrived the magistrates were bound to seek out and sentence such as believed in Christ. A touching letter exists, addressed by the Church of Lyons to those of Asia and Phrygia giving an account of what it suffered; and as the historian Eusebius embodied it in his history, it happily has been preserved from the fingering, and rewriting, and heightening with impossible marvels which fell to the lot of so many of the Acts of the Martyrs, when the public taste no longer relished the simple food of the unadorned narratives that were extant.

Chicken Poop for the Soul : Stories to Harden the Heart and Dampen the Spirit

Humor

Author - David Fisher
Publisher - Simon and Schuster
Pages - 160
ISBN - 0671014420


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Detail - Humorous essays explore the joys of depression, the true meaning of love as seen by a stalker, and anxiety-managed weight loss